Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I have no idea what I'm doing - and other thoughts as I plan a wedding

First things first, our wedding will be the next one Mr. Sass & I go to. Unless someone swoops in at the last minute and gets married like 4 months from now. I mean, considering we swooped a few friends of ours getting married next year, it could happen. But for now, let's operate under the assumption that OUR WEDDING, yeah, like the one where we're going to say our vows & commit to spending our lives together while I wear a white dress & he wears a tux, will be the next one we go to.

Second. We have no idea what the hell we're doing. Mr. Sass is great. He takes initiative, follows through on his word (which means I don't have to ask a million times when he'll do XYZ thing) & writes things down. I can't read them, because his handwriting is the worst, but, he does write them down.

I never thought I would be the bride that talks about this kind of shit on the Internet, but considering it's just about the only thing people ask me about anymore, it's the thing I talk about most. So, y'all are stuck. Or hit that little red X and I'll be back on Friday with some funnies.

In the meantime, I have questions.

1. Can I just text my bridal party and be like "Yo, be my bridesmaid. Respond "yes" to accept, or ignore to also accept". Or "I was in your wedding, so now you owe me. Sucks to suck."?

2. Do we really need Save the Dates - or STD's as I have been referring to them? Or can we just send out a mass email, or an e-card. Seriously. It's a whole bunch of money to send someone a card to tell them that in the future they will receive an additional card that has helpful information.

3. Gifts. Why oh why does every wedding budget include gifts. Can we all just call it even? Instead you gave me a gift when I was in your wedding, while I also gave you a wedding gift. Now I'm going to give you a bridesmaid gift, so you can follow it up with a wedding gift. How about pass, hard pass.

4. We're getting married in MAY. Yes, May May - to answer the question everyone keeps asking. Apparently it's soon. It is, but you know what? Our life, our rules.

5. Why does no one list a price on their website. Everyone is all - call for a quote, or email for a quote. How about you give me a guesstimate. I mean, they're f-ing chair covers, I have to imagine they're a flat rate to rent. Like when a restaurant doesn't list a price. Can you imagine if you had to decide what you wanted, and then send the waiter back to get a quote from the kitchen? No, I can't imagine that either.

6. Colors. Why does everyone want to know our damn colors. They find out we picked a date and the next thing out of everyone's mouth is "Ooh, what are your colors???" I have no idea why the answer to this question is something people care about. My mother & bridal squadron dis-cluded (yeah, that's the opposite of included, say what?) not included. Are these now the colors of our life? Are you going to buy us gifts that include these colors I randomly selected based off pretty pictures I saw on the Internet? If so, please see #3.


How does any of this work?
Send help.

Linking up with Amanda to share.


  1. Seriously, just elope. That is all. LOL. You do not have to follow any of the traditional rules if you don't wanna. Save the dates? Naw. We didn't do a lot of things traditional. We had a Best Woman instead of a Best Man. We didn't do a rehearsal dinner. We skipped Save the Dates and we even had a potluck as our dinner. It was totally "us" and totally low key. Plus, we saved an ish-ton of money. I think that the people asking about your colors and the date you set are probably just trying to make conversation and are in awe that you can put together a wedding that fast. I wouldn't take it too personally. Just elope. LOL. ~Jessica Marie @

  2. haha... you are cracking me up.
    I always catch myself asking 'colors' too - dont know why.
    It really is a ridiculous amount of money now & the way they want you do gifts for everything. To ask your bridesmaids to be in the wedding, for gifts for being in the shower, gifts on wedding day. It gets ridiculous. I like your thinking - keep it simple, as simple as can be.

    & I'm all for saying scrap the Save the Date cards. People will know the date when they get the invitation. If you want to put it out before - there's Twitter, Facebook & texts. STD wasn't a think 5 years ago... people still showed up at weddings ;)

  3. The price thing always drove me nuts. Why is it so hard to tell what things cost!?! Just put it on your website, that's what it's there for. Ok, rant over. The important thing is that you'll have a room full of people who love you and that you'll be married at the end of the day :)

  4. This sounds SO awful and stressful. I say do what you want, social norms be damned! We live in a technology age, and since you're limited on time (and I'm going to assume money since you like to save) emails are fine! Then again, I didn't do anything traditionally so don't listen to me!

  5. I have been married for 26 years and I'm old, so there's that...but honestly, this is supposed to be the fun part. Don't sweat the details and enjoy your party.

    I never heard anyone put it that way...but I'm chuckling over the part about having wedding 'colors'. It really is weird now that I think about it. FWIW, mine was hunter green and white.

  6. I just got married in June so I feel you on all of these! And you know what.. do what you want! It's your day! We did a few un-traditional things but everything turned out just fine. I don't think save the dates are completely necessary because yes, they can get expensive! And the price thing.. seriously, they probably just do that because they can charge more when you say it's for a wedding rather than like a family reunion or something, haha.

  7. hahahahahaha
    i'm not laughing at you but i totally am
    wedding planning sucks balls
    i texted my girlfriends and was like, you girls (well i used another word) are my bridesmaids, k? k. we only had a short engagement too. oy with the not listing prices! so horrible.
    i was the kind of bride that things sort of fell into place. found a venue, chose the date they had available. went dress shopping with my girls, they made me choose a colour and voila they were my 'colours'. i didn't want to do STDs (lol) but my MOH did them for us.

  8. Oh boy, haha, I have no advice... we were in many ways so untraditional.
    No Save The Date cards, no bride maids and best men. I excused it with being in an international wedding (we don't do this stuff in Germany).


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