Wednesday, June 15, 2016

6 Simple Rules for Successful Online Dating

Okay, little known fact, or I guess if you know me in real life, you probably know this already. But since we're just Internet friends for now, here's something you don't know.

In college a few friends of mine didn't like who I was dating,  so they set up // actively managed an online dating profile for me. I knew nothing of this, went out on a date they set up for me, thinking one of them knew this guy, only to find out he was a total internet stranger. After an absolutely terrible date I furiously went online to delete the profile, only to find some messages from cute guys. Maybe online dating wasn't so bad after all...

I went on some seriously terrible dates. From a guy who sent his food back, because he read the menu wrong & apparently couldn't handle his food touching (umm what?), to the guy who ordered everything for me & told me he had great taste & I wouldn't regret it...actually, I thought, I'm already regretting this.

It took quite a few frogs but I met a few good ones. They didn't last, obviously, but that says nothing about online dating & everything about me having bad taste in men evolving & growing as a person. Until finally, I met the BF & I closed my online dating profile down for good.

But, in the months years it took me to weed out the weirdos from the wonderful, I learned a few things. If you're a newbie, don't be scared, it's not any more awkward than being set up with a friend of a friend. Promise. But, there are a few ways to ease the pain, so, here are my 6 rules for simple & successful online dates.


1. This is NOT a date
Take a deep breath in, now out. This is not a date. You met on a dating site, yes. But this first meet is just that. You're meeting. Confirming this person is who they say they are (ever seen the show Catfish?) and looking for a base level of chemistry. The question you need to answer by the end of this is, do you want to learn more about this person? 

2. Coffee or drinks only for the first date meet-up
Seriously. You want to get in & get out. If you totally connect on a level that is just unbelievable then go next door & grab a bite to eat. No one says you can't carry on. I'm saying if they're a total wacko you want to have a quick escape, which is sucking down your coffee & hustling out the door.

3. Pay your own way (or at least offer)
Maybe it's just me. But I feel super awkward about a guy paying on a first "date" or meet if I can help it. I usually aim to grab a coffee & get there a few minutes early & snag my own.

4. No weekend nights
Weekday evenings are preferable, weekends during the day will do in a pinch.
Weekend evenings are reserved for special people in my book. A boyfriend gets a Saturday night. A potentially weird man from the Internet does not. Shrugs, you do you, I'm just sayin'. If you're only having a drink, do you really want to yell at each other while EDM blares in the background & drunk college girls twerk nearby?

5. Be honest
I don't do the fake "I had a nice time" bullshit. Drinks are done, bill paid, I'll say something polite like, "I'm glad we met up, but I just don't think we're a good match". If they don't get the hint, continue to ignore their text messages and // or phone calls, responding will simply add fuel to the fire.

6. No personal details
I really would hope this goes without saying, but don't let strange Internet men pick you up from your house on the first "date". Don't tell them exactly where you live, or anything else that could aid in their potential stalker-ish tendencies. You have no idea what you could be dealing with. I always prefer to pick the place, somewhere I know the lay of the land & where I won't end up walking down a deserted back alley to get to my car.

When it's all said and done, online dating can be a great way to meet new people you may not have met otherwise. There are sites you pay for, sites you don't & even all sorts of phone apps (which I never used because I had a "dumb phone" until like 2015.)

The point is. If you're looking for love, might as well try looking online too.

Have you ever tried online dating?
Any online dating horror // success stories!?
Where did you meet your significant other?

Linking up with Amanda, Emily & Little R&R to share.

15 comments:

  1. i have heard of so many people making real life connections - marriages & families to follow - all in thanks to online dating. Its a new world :)

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    1. One of my besties is actually getting married this year & they met online!

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  2. I've never had any experience with online dating. I feel like in the past few years it's become a much more common way to meet people. Isn't there now an app to make friends?! I'm weirdly intrigued by it all so much haha. I met my boyfriend at a "Sunday funday" party in college haha.

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    1. Oh how I wish there was Tinder or something for making friends. I would be all over that!

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  3. I've never had experience with online dating, but I think it's a great idea. Even in larger cities, it can be really hard to meet new people, and it's nice to have some sort of method to help make sure that the two people meeting up are on the same page in terms of expectations - if you met through an online dating site which presumably allows you to spell out what you're looking for on your profile, it should be obvious to both parties what they're getting into. Part of the awkwardness of old fashioned dating is that one person's date is the other person's casual platonic hang out.

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    1. EXACTLY! On the site I used there were options. Like, you could say you were looking for something serious vs different levels of casual dating. Which I think is important. If I want a relationship & you just want to hang, there is no point in us meeting!

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  4. I've never tried online dating but I did meet Jesse through the internet (I knew a friend of his) so I suppose that counts?

    Your stories totally made me laugh out loud! You need to share your bad date stories!

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    1. I'll have to start writing & see if any of them translate as well to text as they did in real life!

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  5. My dad met his long term girlfriend online 10 years ago! He tells me he definitely met some weirdos online but it got him some good stories! His girlfriend is seriously the best ever and my kids call her (okay, we call her, but that because the boys don't really talk as of now, ha!) Aunt Grandma Nancy. I think if you're smart about it, you can definitely meet some amazing people! But it's definitely important to remember to be safe.

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    1. 10 years ago!? WOW. I feel like that must have been right when online dating was starting up & getting popular. Glad he met such a good one!

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  6. All of these are such wise tips! :o) I love how you said, 'weed out the weird from the wonderful.' I've never dated online, and I don't think I would be quite comfortable with it, but I'm amazed by how so many people have connected that way. I'm glad that you put so much priority on honesty.

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    1. I wasn't comfortable at first, but keeping meetings short & in public, plus telling a friend where I was headed made me feel a lot safer about it. That, and I Google myself a lot, so I felt okay about the level of information (or lack there of) that people could find about me if they Googled me.

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  7. Yes yes yes to all of these tips!
    And please do share some of your bad stories, I promise if I actually get a date, I'll share mine :)

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  8. hahahaha at the guy with his food not touching. i used to have an ex who was the same, and he came to my house for dinner and wouldn't eat the food my mum cooked because she served it up on one plate and he wanted it all separated. rude!

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